may i be frankie

Not much.

But I have found one downside to being in the ‘burbs - the lack of chinese delivery! Sometimes you just can’t bring yourself to getting out of bed, putting on nice clothes, warming up the car, and driving to get food. Or it’s just me tonight. I have been craving Chinese for two weeks now. Had to get it.

The last place I tried (Fong’s downtown Waukegan) I was not to happy with. The rice had no flavor - that’s 90 percent of my meal. After a few phone calls I found one other place that will deliver here. Can’t wait. I hope it’s really good.

Currently Reading: The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson **** so far

• TRUTH by Susan Batson

Yep. I have insomnia. It seems to be setting in for a long stay. I went through this ages ago when I lost mom. My head hits the pillow and my mom just races. All the thoughts that couldn’t catch up to me during the days activities is suddenly begging for my attention. All the fears I won’t give the time of day is suddenly pressing down on my chest, yelling in my ear and melting with the darkness.

Like the other night. I had the most heart crushing thought. Before, when I was younger, and now I think, more naive, I said that losing my parents would be the worst thing to happen to me. Then in 2001, I lost my mom. That just about did me in. And now I’ve lost my Dad, my Daddy. They’re both gone. What the hell would I do if I lost someone else? And I suddenly got this panic attack from thoughts of losing my daughter and husband. And sisters. And nieces. And nephews.

I have utterly no control over this thing, this end. And it scares me so. In a way it never has before. Do I really have to watch another loved one be taken away? How strong am I expected to be about this? How strong am I really?

This led to another level of panic over my health. I’m overweight - the heaviest I’ve ever been. Both of my parents died of from heart attacks. High blood pressure and diabetes runs in my family.

I don’t want my daughter to go through this. I don’t want her lose me and not have me at her wedding or not be there when she has her first child.

I do think there is a health and quality of life wake-up call in all this.

I’m so proud of homegirl Jennifer Hudson. She will play Winnie Mandela in her next film.

http://weblogs.variety.com/bfdealmemo/2009/11/hudson-to-play-winnie-mandela.html

Ding Dong..! Ejected! Gone! Yay!

http://www.etonline.com/news/2009/11/81128/

Tutti Fruitti, what a bottie! Len Hearts Mya now! LOL.

me.

This gives me chills. One of my favorites from Kelly.

One of the best voices ever! Go Kelly.